it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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