There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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