i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize