She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
