I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
my liver is dry heaving
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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