i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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