I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
