no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
