I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
