White coat. Heels.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
