No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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