So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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