look no pants
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
