Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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