Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
