How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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