you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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