You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
