Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
