She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
