He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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