Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
