There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
