why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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