the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
