did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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