I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
