Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You really coming over, don't trick.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
