I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
