Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The power of my boobs compel you
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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