Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i dont even know how to be here
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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