how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize