wat bout pragnant strippers??
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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