i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize