i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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