You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
