You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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