Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
