i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize