The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
