just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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