i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i dont even know how to be here
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
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no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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