I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
