It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
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Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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