My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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