it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
