Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
