Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
