i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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