Define "chronic" masturbator.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
