How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
