I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
