if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
