so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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