i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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