We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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