Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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