i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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