Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
birth control should be required to get into college
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
