Are we in a gay sports bar?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
