My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
