K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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