you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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