Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
