Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
