and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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