we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
